Out of My Kitchen

Okay, so here’s something interesting I want to do on this blog. I’ve written a few short stories in the past, and I hope to write more in the future The Author’s Notes at the end were just my thoughts that came from when I was writing it. This particular story was written in January of 2016, my senior year of college. The title and plot comes from my response to a prompt from the Tumblr page Unblocking Writer’s Block (and in case you’re wondering, they haven’t really updated from the last time I checked, so it may be dead by lack of updates. Here’s the prompt in question:

“I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I don’t trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen.”

If you have a better idea for a title, let me know. Without further delay, here’s the story. Enjoy.


“Look, I need the kitchen, I’ll be doing a lot of stuff in here, and I need things to be in some sort of order. So, you can’t be in here. I’ll let you know when you can come back, okay?” Those were the last words Jerry was told before his friend Mary shooed him out the door. Mary walked back into the kitchen and she didn’t get to even open the pantry when she heard Jerry’s voice. “Can I at least know what you’re making?” Jerry asked. “Please?” Ignoring her friend’s pleas, Mary opened the pantry and sighed in disappointment. She opened her refrigerator and all she could utter was a single word: “Really?”

And with that, Jerry found himself outside and the door closing in his face. He had to stop to grab a railing just to stop from falling on his butt on a count of being pushed out of the house. But then, he saw the door open and saw Mary. “Since you’re already outside, can you get these things for me?” Mary asked. Jerry inspected the list and saw what he felt were basic things: Milk, eggs, sugar, all-purpose flour, milk. “How do you not have these things?” Jerry asked. But he only saw a door closing before in his face. “A please or a thank you would be nice!” Jerry spun on his heel and walked away from the house and trekked to the grocery store.

At the store, Jerry grabbed a basket and made his way to the dairy aisle. As he reached the milk, he heard a voice ask “Yo! How’s it going, amigo?” Jerry could recognize the voice immediately. It was Nathan, riding a cart and stepping down just a few feet from hitting Jerry. Jerry greeted his friend. “Hey, Nathan, how’s it going?” “Not too bad, how about you?” Nathan answered. Jerry told him how Mary threw him out of her house because she needed to cook without him getting a word in, and giving her a shopping list “That has to suck.” was all Nathan had to say. “Yeah, it kind of does,” Jerry replied. “Besides, she wouldn’t even let me ask if she needed help or anything. I mean, I know I’m kind of messy, but come on. At least give me the honor of being rejected for crying out loud.” As Jerry grabbed a carton of milk, he was unaware a smirk formed on Nathan’s face as he took his shopping cart and moved down to grab some eggs before heading to the baking aisle. “Hey, you’re a good cook, I know you got skills, so how about we show her what she’s missing out on?” Jerry heard his friend’s words and but only uttered “Uh, sure.” before he walked away. Jerry also heard Nathan yell to meet him at the checkout lines.

At the checkout lines, Jerry was stunned to see Nathan’s cart. He head pasta, ground pork, eggs, cheese, and a slew of food. “What is all this crap, dude?” Jerry asked. “Mary gave me a list. The stuff you got…most of it is not on this thing.” Jerry shook the list in Nathan’s face. “Listen, Grasshopper…”Nathan replied. “We’ll get back to my place, we’ll cook up a storm, and we have to get Mary to apologize for throwing you out, man. It’s a can’t fail plan.” After placing everything on the track to be scanned, Jerry replied with “Fine. But you’re paying for all this.” Nathan just shrugged his shoulders and obliged, and the two walked out. Before heading to Jerry’s house, the two boys drove to Mary’s house. Jerry put the groceries he picked out by the front door and rang the doorbell. By the time Mary was at the door, the two were gone. All she saw was the groceries and a note attached to the bag: “Here you go. See you soon. Jerry and Nathan.” Wondering where the two boys went, she took the bag and went back inside.

A few hours later, Mary would hear the doorbell again. Opening the door, she saw Jerry and Nathan, holding foil pans of food “Hello, boys.” She cheerfully greeted them. But when she saw their stunned expressions she asked, “What’s up?” “What’s up with what you’re wearing?” Nathan asked. Mary looked down and saw how they were looking at her dress. It was a green conservative dress, something out of Little House on The Prairie. The two boys didn’t even notice the bonnet on her head! “Like what you boys see?” Mary teased. She twirled around displaying her dress and signaled for the two boys to come inside, and the two followed her into the kitchen.

When Jerry and Nathan walked into the kitchen, the two were stunned to find on the stovetop there were cookies, a pie, and some biscuits…as well as a mountain of dishes built up in the sink and the trash can starting to overflow. Finally, Nathan broke the silence. “So, what’s with the getup?” he asked. “I’m glad you asked,” Mary answered. “You’re looking at the new Pioneer Jane”. “Pioneer Jane?” Nathan asked. “Yep,” Mary answered. “You are looking at the newest mascot of Samuel Morris High School. Home of The Pioneers. Except Pioneer Joe isn’t here.” Nathan was dumbfounded, and all he could say was “I’m not following.” Jerry explained, “At our school, we have the mascots Pioneer Joe and Pioneer Jane. They have their own costumes and their own backstories, and their own characteristics. It changes every year, and starting next year, Mary here will be Pioneer Jane.” “Ah,” Nathan said. “I think I’ve seen someone dressed like you when we play you guys. We brought food because Jerry here was peeved you wouldn’t let him in to help cook.” “Well, what did you cook?” Jerry and Nathan uncovered their hotel pans to reveal macaroni and cheese; sausage patties topped with fried eggs, and even some freshly made sausages. Mary’s mouth was agape. “Now, why couldn’t Jerry here be in here?” Nathan asked. Mary regained her composure and closed her mouth and answered, “Because you were cooking, and I was baking. There’s a difference.” Nathan could only respond with “What? What are you talking about? It’s all about expression when you’re in the kitchen.” Mary came back with “Yeah, but you can do crazier stuff when you’re cooking. I bake. I have to make sure everything is precise and every measurement is just right, and I have to be sure that I take everything out at the right time. Cooking is an art. Baking is a science. Does that make any sense? Also, I kind of didn’t want you to see me wearing this.” The two boys raised their eyebrows with that last statement. “Wait, Why is that?” Jerry asked. “Yeah, do you like my buddy Jerry?” Nathan added. “No,” Mary answered. “It’s because I’m going to show off my costume at the pep rally tomorrow and I don’t want you two babbling on about it to anyone”. Jerry adjusted Mary’s bonnet. “We wouldn’t tell anyone. Besides, none of the people in this kitchen are what you would call popular, so who would we tell?” And if we did tell, who would listen or care?” Mary rolled her eyes and bonked the top of Jerry’s head. “How about this?” Mary propositioned. “My parents are coming home in about an hour, and the cookies and stuff are how I’m going to tell them I’m going to be Pioneer Jane. If you guys help me with the dishes, I’ll eat your food and I’ll tell you my Pioneer Jane story.” Jerry and Nathan wasted no time in their response. “You got yourself a deal”.




Author’s Notes:

So this was a fun thing to write. Most of this I wrote in a few hours listening to the music on my iPhone. I’m kind of like a machine that way. The idea for the Pioneer mascot comes from an idea of a series of high school football rivalries I had thought of a few years ago, where I would showcase a (fictional) high school football rivalries and this would be featuring rivalries from around the country. The idea of the Pioneer mascot came from High school mascots where it was an actual person as opposed to somebody in a costume (think Notre Dame’s The Leprechaun), and the idea of giving the Pioneer character a backstory comes from The Doctor from Doctor Who. The reason being is that while The Doctor is the same character despite the change in actors and each Doctor is different in how they dress, how they take on enemies, and their likes and dislikes. I find that cool. Also, sorry for not showing any cooking. I once tried to write out cooking and I even thought about writing it out here, and thinking about it, I’m not really the best in writing out cooking and making it super interesting. But anyway, I hope you enjoy this story.

The Ways of Writing

Writing is fun. But it can be hard. I’m not complaining or trying to make this into a first world problem by any means. I’m just saying that trying to dedicate the time to writing can be difficult when there are only 24 hours in the day. It’s especially tough when you don’t have the money to just go off and isolate yourself from everyone like what happens in the romantic image of the writer in movies, TV shows, and people’s mind. I have this blog and a lot of ideas for things, including multiple ideas for long-form things at the time of me posting this. It’s a lot to juggle in terms of developing those things, writing those things, coming up with things for this blog, and just living my life. I’m doing this for fun at the moment, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get a following big enough that people are waiting for my every single entry. But I promise I’m going to do my best to make sure it doesn’t appear that I’m pulling things out of my butt in terms of entries.

If you think I ever break that promise or if I ever run out of material, I apologize in advance.


So, I want to show you something. Something I wrote. A little screenplay I wrote called Wrath. 


Yep, that’s all me. What is this about? The simple explanation is this: The Seven Deadly Sins invade Heaven. One goes rogue. This was my senior project; the culmination of everything I did at Drexel University. And I’ve even entered it into screenplay contests. One of these was Dizzy Emu’s All Genre Screenplay Contest, and one of the things that came from it was the thing being sold on Amazon. And now, I’ll let you in on it. While I plan to enter Wrath into more contests (among other things), you can buy Wrath today.

Just click here to buy your copy of Wrath today. It’s available in paperback and on Kindle.

I hope to write more great stuff, and I hope to hear your feedback. Thank you all for your support.

It’s About The Cup

Well, that was fun wasn’t it? The Pittsburh Penguins have defeated the Nashville Predators to become the 2017 Stanley Cup Champions. The games I’ve seen this series were amazing, as is the norm for playoff hockey. What I saw showed what makes it awesome: fast-paced, unpredictable, and performances by goalies that make you go “HOW?!”. I’ve watched hockey on occasion for most of my life, I played NHl 2001 on the computer A LOT when I was a kid, and when I was at Drexel, my Saturday nights were at the Class of 1923 Arena on the campus of The University of Pennsylvania, where I went because it was free to go, but I stayed because the small atmosphere that was there was awesome. I felt that love watching these playoffs. And now I hope to watch some more games next year. And one day, maybe see an NHL game in person.

To the Nashville Predators, you have had an amazing run. #Smashville is real, and you have made the Music City a hockey city. I once saw a video on YouTube that mentioned that this playoff run is amazing because of the memories that you have given your fanbase that will last a lifetime. When the pain of losing goes away, you’ll remember this run, the way you swept the mighty Chicago Blackhawks, the way Pekka Rinne was a brick wall in goal. I hope you keep this up. I sincerely hope that you keep this fire burning in Nashville because I think that you have the potential to join the likes of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Los Angeles Kings, and Anaheim Ducks in that you are a non-traditional market where hockey is accepted and the fans love their team. Every time people go nuts in a sea of yellow, every time a Predators fan throws a catfish on the ice like a declaration of war, you are flipping both middle fingers to every hockey purist that demands you should either fold or move to a place like Seattle, Hartford, Quebec City, or any place where it snows on a regular basis to the point where a snowstorm can be joked about being because someone pissed off Elsa from Frozen. (I know old joke, but I think it fits). Nobody can ever take away this run, Predators fans. Go do great things.

To the Penguins, congratulations. Not only do you have the best jerseys in hockey, you are back to back champions. Sidney Crosby, you are now greatest player of this generation. When they talk greats of the game, they mention Wayne Gretzky and Gordie Howe, and now Sidney Crosby will have a place at the table. In addition, I won’t be surprised if Sidney Crosby is now going to be part of LeBron James vs. Michael Jordan-esque debates when it comes to who’s the greatest person to ever put on the Penguins jersey. What is certain is that his number 87 will be in the rafters of PPG Paints arena when all is said and done with him. As for the goaltending, Matt Murray and Marc-Andre Fleury have put on a clinic that was a sight to behold. And the way you absolutely destroyed the Predators when you were at home was freaking sweet. Now THAT is what you call a home-ice advantage.

I’d add more, but I don’t watch hockey enough to get into more, nor do I know who to follow and watch in terms of pundits and broadcasters. I hope to improve in this area next season, especially with the Vegas Golden Knights coming into the league and the Red Wings moving into a new arena. And now, I imagine every hockey, especially every Penguins fan in the city of Pittsburgh and around the world is imagining what it would be like to drink out of the cup and what they would do if they had the Stanley Cup for a day, as is the tradition for all the players on the winning team. All I know is that these Stanley Cup Playoffs blew the NBA Playoffs out of the water if you ask most people, and hockey is one of the best sports to watch. And maybe play if you’re tough enough to handle it and can hold your own wearing a pair of skates (unlike me where I just seem to go at slightly more than a turtle’s pace).

To all the hockey fans out there, Lord Stanley’s Cup has been awarded, and now we wait until we see the Penguins raise their 2017 banner to the rafters. Enjoy the offseason.

It’s All Over.

Well, it’s done. The Golden State Warriors have beaten the Cleveland Cavaliers in five games, hopefully killing all “The Warriors blew a 3-1 lead” jokes forever. These Finals were not so great, with only two games were watching. The first two games were absolute blowouts, and Game 4 was an absolute trainwreck that only served to reignite the conspiracy fire in angry fans whenever they feel their team gets screwed. The clinching game was decent, and the Warriors went on a pretty killing run that would help to seal the deal.  The only game. that lived up to the potential that was promoted was Game 3. And now we’re all going to be subject to more “LeBron James vs. Michael Jordan: Who’s better?” debates. Yay.

As for the Warriors, you finally got the right to be considered one of the best teams in NBA history. You could have had the chance to get it last year when you won 3 games in the regular season but…you know the rest. Everyone in basketball circles is saying that the Warriors is on a completely different tier compared to the rest of the league and judging by these playoffs, they may be right. And now we wait to see how many titles the Warriors win with this core to see if the Bay Area sees a dynasty.

Now the NBA season is over, and we have only nine days left until the draft and some team is forced to deal with the headache that is Lavar Ball. Wake me up when July 1st starts and we begin free agency.

Welcome To My Blog!

So, what am I doing? I’m taking the plunge, that’s what I’m doing! I’m actually starting a blog. Why exactly am I starting a blog? Well, when I was at Drexel, I will say that I developed what I could consider a skill for writing, and I only hope others will say that I have a skill for writing as well. A lot of my professors have said that my writing was really good when they read my papers for their classes, and I think that has to mean something.

I’ve also written a few short stories for fun, and I’ve thought about trying to write for a living, but first I need to find an audience and promote myself and all that good stuff. This is my attempt to find audience and promote myself. While I’m not sure if I’m in a position to promise much of anything, I hope that I am able to entertain you, make you think I’m a good guy, and think that the stuff I write is something that can be considered good.


Welcome to The Results of A Drexel Education. I’m Martin White II, and I hope you enjoy.


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